3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
