You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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