11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I just forgot I was standing up.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
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