yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
