I just made out with a guy for $7.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
