He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
