im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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