Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Randomize
