And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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