Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
He? As in you personified your dick?
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
