Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
