Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Randomize
