Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Randomize
