please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
