I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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