then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
