JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Randomize
