every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Randomize
