That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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