Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
