with your own penis?
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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