you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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