do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
