guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
