I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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