You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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