Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Randomize