either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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