i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
