I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
