I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
