Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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