Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
too bad you live with your parents still
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
