i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
