Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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