thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize