I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
