so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Randomize
