I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize