WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
accomplished twins. life is a go
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
