Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
So much rum. So many feels.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Randomize
