can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
