Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
he laminated a picture of his dick.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Randomize
