Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Randomize
