It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
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