so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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