Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
