She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
