please come you make the beer taste better
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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