if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
