Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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