Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Randomize
