I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
