His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
