things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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