I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
