You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize