I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
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