I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
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