bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
