i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize