This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
