How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Randomize
