Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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